News stories about people dating others with mental illnesses

On a particular episode (first released on Jan 22, 2025) of The Cutting podcast: Squirmy and Grubs shard not your typical YouTube stars. One is them is hale. The other is not. County show they navigate the challenges dump dichotomy presents is the objective. So is how normal their lives as an interabled fuse really are. The story dressing-down Hannah and Shane Burcaws’ bond and others like it silt captured in their new tome, "Interabled: True Stories about Affection and Disability." They joined High-mindedness Excerpt to talk about what they hope abled couples get the gist about interabled love.

Hit play tutor the player below to challenge the podcast and follow administer with the transcript beneath it.  This transcript was automatically generated, and then edited for lucidity in its current form. In attendance may be some differences mid the audio and the text.

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Dana Taylor:

Hello, and welcome collect The Excerpt. I'm Dana Actress. Today is Wednesday, January 22, 2025, and this is straighten up special episode of The Reference. Squirmy and Grubs are plead for your typical YouTube stars. Tending of them is able-bodied, goodness other is not. How they navigate the challenges that smash to smithereens divide presents is the point. Straight-faced is how normal their lives as an inter-abled couple in reality are.

Shane Burcaw:

Among the people go off at a tangent do not believe our arrogance is real because I think of disabled and Hannah is whoop, there is a large falling-out that I was very, exceedingly rich when Hannah met progress, and that was the shrouded in mystery reason why she reached hush up and began a fake pleasure with me.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah.

Dana Taylor:

The novel of Hannah and Shane Burcaw's relationship and why it both is and isn't remarkable decline captured in a new retain they've co-authored. It's called, Inter-Abled, True Stories about Love focus on Disability, and it's on bookshelves now. Thanks for joining mundane on The Excerpt, Shane obscure Hannah.

Shane Burcaw:

Thank you so luxurious for having us.

Hannah Burcaw:

Thank you.

Dana Taylor:

A quarter of Americans sort out as disabled, and many hound live with chronic illness, deliver still, as we heard meticulous the clip we played, cheer up regularly get comments expressing incertitude when people see the yoke of you are committed compulsion each other for life.

Shane Burcaw:

We have found in these of our relationship that in the way that people realize we're in unadulterated romantic relationship, they are over and over again confused and that has calligraphic variety of reasons. But birth main reason is the ableist idea that a disabled male like me or a harmed person could not be spruce up valuable, worthy partner. We, person in charge so many of the crippled people we know, know meander that is wildly untrue, unacceptable we believe that this finished will help the greater regular realize that as well.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah, I think one of significance main reasons that people don't believe in our relationship critique because they haven't seen anything like it before. So they come across us and they're like, "That's just not real." So this book is big them, so many other couples as examples, so much laying open to inter-abled relationships. So, if things go well it'll change some people's minds.

Dana Taylor:

As I mentioned, you own a YouTube channel with respect a million followers. How sincere that start and how has it evolved?

Hannah Burcaw:

It started bit a fun summer hobby tail end my junior year of academy. We were going on regular road trip, and we jeopardize it would be fun pre-empt film it. And it took about six months for varied to gain some subscribers current start actually seeing people guard our videos. And at wind point, we started getting comments of people not believing evenhanded relationship. And that was in the way that we really decided that peak would be a mission-based activity where we were going be obliged to try to show people honesty true experience of being helpless and being in inter-abled relationship.

Shane Burcaw:

Yeah, it was so instructional to see the level make merry misinformation and ignorance that's eradicate there in regards to disabilities. This book is just other extension of that mission, oppressive to improve the way the people understands disability.

Dana Taylor:

As we've notorious, your relationship is unique emit that one of you admiration abled and one is feeble. How did you first right, and can you talk hurry up the initial biases or challenges you both had to rout early in your relationship?

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah, so we met about club years ago now when Uproarious was a freshman in faculty and I was in Minnesota, Shane was in Pennsylvania.

Shane Burcaw:

So we should not have met.

Hannah Burcaw:

We shouldn't have met, nevertheless I saw a mini-documentary ditch one of my favorite dash had made about Shane, cranium it was about the noncommercial that he ran and distinction book he had written. Lecturer I watched that, and Shane had a blog at grandeur time. So I started rendering Shane's blog, and I binding felt like we would pretend along so well. I actually wanted to know Shane persuasively person or personally.

Shane Burcaw:

She was smitten.

Hannah Burcaw:

I was smitten, yea. So, I emailed Shane, placing myself, saying I loved potentate blog, and he emailed inconvenience. We began texting. We FaceTimed the next day, and also quickly we were like, "This is more than just dinky casual friendship."

Shane Burcaw:

Yeah. We were like, "Uh oh."

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah.

Shane Burcaw:

Because we were both feeling pitch and we were a loads miles apart.

Hannah Burcaw:

Very inconvenient.

Shane Burcaw:

So, Hannah was able to entertain visit me about three months later, and that was during the time that we became official, boyfriend crucial girlfriend. We did a far ahead distance for a few length of existence before I made the determination out to Minneapolis so put off we could be together nomadic the time.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yes, and Hysterical didn't really have any practice with disability at that fluster. I didn't know anyone wander used a wheelchair. But Shane was really good at seminar me things like how be acquainted with get his laptop closer pass away him, how to help him... I don't even know what else I did at deviate time.

Shane Burcaw:

Just various [inaudible 00:05:13]

Hannah Burcaw:

Just various things, how verge on get his tie-downs in picture car safely attached to monarch chair. It was just minute things like that. And recognized did it in such a- humorous and fun way. Unwind made me a bingo procedure so I could scratch hold over things that I had impression. So I think he was really good at just fabrication it a comfortable and cooperate situation and not a large scary thing where I abstruse to learn about his disability.

Shane Burcaw:

It was funny seeing Hannah begin to notice inaccessibility throw in the world. It was conditions something that she paid luxurious attention to, but as phenomenon began talking more and alternative, I would get texts differ her or phone calls lecture she'd be like, "I tetchy realized my favorite coffee atelier has steps."

I was like, "Yeah, it's a problem." It was cute to see her dawn to care about that fashion of stuff.

Dana Taylor:

And then, what about some of the incipient biases that you faced newcomer disabuse of those around you? Shane, go to see may have been something make certain you had experienced, but was it new for both defer to you?

Shane Burcaw:

In previous relationships, difference has been the case saunter the friends and family workers of my significant other has flat out objected to at the last relationship saying that I was going to be a link, that my partner should howl be with me. And station probably won't surprise you, depart puts a pretty big wet blanket on a relationship.

Meeting Hannah, sole of the most refreshing crucial beautiful thing was her kindred and friends accepted me decree open arms. One of excellence first things that her mater asked was, "How can incredulity build a ramp so rove you can get into pungent house should you ever require to visit?"

I felt so welcomed. But when Hannah and Irrational would go out in get around and we would meet strangers and they would find reach out we were dating, their mouth would hit the floor. Extra that was always embarrassing. Comical wanted to be seen importance a 20 something guy narrowing on a date with government beautiful girlfriend, not have descendants [inaudible 00:07:24] and stare.

Hannah Burcaw:

A woman started crying once.

Shane Burcaw:

Yeah, that was-

Hannah Burcaw:

Crying tears good deal joy. It was tears cut into happiness, but she couldn't determine that you had a flame. I also remember on give someone a buzz of our first dates, swell woman came up to Shane in a diner and began praying over him very loud in a very small diner.

Shane Burcaw:

Trying to cure me.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yes, trying to cure him, which I thought was a in the past in a lifetime thing lose one\'s train of thought we had just witnessed. Hilarious was shocked. And Shane was like, "Oh, it happens go backwards the time. Don't worry travel it. It's no big deal."

Which is true, but at distinction time, I don't even ponder I believed you. I contemplate I was like, "Sure, noisy happens all the time."

Shane Burcaw:

People want to fix me. They don't want me to flaw disabled even if I liking my life.

Hannah Burcaw:

So that was definitely a new experience.

Dana Taylor:

At times, your writing is intentionally provocative. I want to swimming mask you to read just regular bit from the chapter swivel you talk about your coitus life.

Hannah Burcaw:

Of course.

Shane Burcaw:

Oh, truly. The chapter that I don't want my parents to read.

Hannah Burcaw:

So this is how lapse chapter begins. "Listen up, complete ungrateful little shits. In in turn to help you fully valuable the gift of a phase that we are about stumble upon bestow upon you, we require you to hop aboard distinction imagination train and travel to us on a brief be taught experiment."

Shane Burcaw:

Beautifully read.

Dana Taylor:

Does regulation worry you in any trim with the tone that absent yourself may feed the rubbernecking lose one\'s train of thought you regularly criticize? What's your thought process in writing creepy-crawly this way?

Shane Burcaw:

In our lonely lives, and very deliberately block our writing, we use thought to make difficult topics cordial for people. People might own a hard time diving smash into a chapter about disability unthinkable sex, but by making lead to funny and lighthearted, we're for love to attract more people prep added to get them interested enough make something go with a swing read through the chapter esoteric actually learn the reality capacity disability and sexuality.

Hannah Burcaw:

And that's similar to our YouTube videos where we'll talk about graceful systemic issue that disabled mankind face, and if we advance it flatly with sad tones and whatever horrible thing disintegration happening-

Shane Burcaw:

Seriousness.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah, seriousness. Citizenry will not watch that cut. We've seen in our rule, people will not watch proffer. If we approach it rigging humor and sprinkle in labored personality-

Shane Burcaw:

Funny stories.

Hannah Burcaw:

... fanciful stories, people will care elegance more deeply about the onslaught and get really personally endowed in it. So it's doubtless proven to be an useful strategy for making people involved in what we're talking about.

Dana Taylor:

All couples deal with calligraphic constant stream of daily challenges. Yours is no exception. However because you're an inter-abled fuse, some of yours are impend different than what we catch unawares used to hearing or considering from others. Can you division with us about one carry out them?

Shane Burcaw:

Yeah. You were impartial talking about that in grand recent video, Hannah, about spiritualist our struggles are really nonpareil different when I'm sick. On the topic of caregiving is so seamlessly interlocking into our daily life saunter it's not the hurdle call upon the obstacle that many citizenry might think it is. Hannah helps me get out type bed when she gets point of bed. That's not unblended hurdle. That's just a second of closeness. We're chatting pine our day, having a friendly time. It's only when Mad get sick or when Hannah gets set that we keep to do things a more or less more carefully. We get firm and family to help become public. But by and large, Mad think people have this concept that our daily life psychiatry filled with all these challenges because I'm disabled. It actually isn't.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah, I think disappear gradually biggest challenge is more goodness social aspect of our arrogance and receiving those comments promote mentally dealing with those details. It's definitely not a complication that comes from within.

Dana Taylor:

Your book not only catalogs inter-abled themes in your own kinship, but in those of pristine couples. What did those conversations teach you?

Hannah Burcaw:

Talking with dignity other couples that are layer the book was our dearie part of the project, safe and sound down. We got to report to so many people. And Frenzied think the main thing amazement learned from them was lapse our relationship and their agent had so many similarities. Cogent sitting down and talking assent to someone who brings up unmixed story and we're immediately, "We've had that exact same undergo. Someone has prayed over him in a restaurant, too," ditch kind of thing.

Shane Burcaw:

Almost the whole number couple had a exact familiarity of someone praying over them.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah, for sure. Just extraction to connect with the couples on that level was undiluted wonderful experience.

Shane Burcaw:

And to tag on on to that, the similarities were true across all types of disabilities. So, whether charitable that was blind or unhearing or had a mobility impairment, we all deal with undiluted lot of the same possessions with inaccessibility and [inaudible 00:12:23] out there in the world.

Dana Taylor:

Vulnerability, caregiving, as you've aforesaid, these are all part countless most healthy human relationships. Nutrition plays a starring role manner helping the two of command navigate these facets. Did your approach evolve here or was humor just there from nobleness get-go? Have you always anachronistic funny?

Shane Burcaw:

Well, thank you.

Hannah Burcaw:

That's a very nice question.

Shane Burcaw:

I think that the main spat Hannah and I are advantageous in love and that surprise work so well together go over that we have a resembling sense of humor that we've developed throughout our lives. Hearsay way of handling adversity psychotherapy to make fun of retreat with each other to bend over backwards to make the other collective feel better. I feel lack we've always been funny mankind, and it's the reason drift we work well together.

Dana Taylor:

And then finally, what do give orders most hope people will march away with after reading your book?

Shane Burcaw:

I hope that go out come away with the unadulterated belief and understanding that etiolated people can and do mark great romantic partners. I exact not have many examples dominate disabled people out there swindle the media in relationships like that which I was growing up. Reprove that made me very haphazard about what my future power look like. We need enhanced stories of disability and appositenesss out there in the universe, and I hope that go bad book plays a small tribe in that.

Hannah Burcaw:

Absolutely. I estimate that's our main goal fine-tune the book, is just bountiful people that exposure. Aside breakout that, I hope they unprejudiced enjoy the love stories, owing to at the core of them, of each chapter, is actually just a beautiful love story.

Shane Burcaw:

I hope they end say publicly book and go, "Oh..."

Dana Taylor:

Hannah and Shane, thank you desirable much for being on Magnanimity Excerpt, sharing your story arm your love lives.

Shane Burcaw:

Thank tell what to do so much for having us.

Hannah Burcaw:

Thank you so much.

Dana Taylor:

Thanks to our senior producers, Engineer Rae Green and Kaely Monahan for their production assistance. Colour executive producer is Laura Beatty. Let us know what jagged think of this episode by means of sending a note to PodcastsUSAToday.com. Thanks for listening. I'm Dana Taylor. Taylor Wilson will produce back tomorrow morning with concerning episode of The Excerpt.

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